Another pain in the r's for US president

US president Barack Obama, or should I say Barrack Obama, will need to dodge controversy when he visits Australia in November.

It is believed that the notorious Major Jeremy Billycock-Smythe is planning to invite the president to one of his dinner parties at Rowbottom, not far from the Australian capital, Canberra.

To raise a toast to the president, it is also believed that Major BS has secured a number of commemorative mugs that were supposed to have been destroyed because of an embarrassing spelling mistake.

The White House has confirmed that Mr Obama will fly into Australia for the first time as president in November - immediately after the APEC leaders meeting he will host in Hawai

It will be the third attempt by the US President to make the trip after a visit was postponed twice early last year because of pressure to remain in Washington during a critical debate over passing health reforms, and later to cope with a disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The last time he was expected, 200 mugs celebrating his visit were ordered for the Australia's Parliament House gift shop.

Unfortunately, the mugs, which carried quite good pictures of the president's face, had his first name spelt as "Barrack" instead of "Barack." When someone important who is also a good speller found out, they were ordered to be destroyed.

How some of the mugs might have ended in Major BS possession is a mystery - though that is unlikely to trouble Major BS as long as they were cheap.

It could, however, be be more diplomatically embarrassing than Wikileaks.

Sucking lemons no more

I have finally done it. I left my employer of the last few years, that Australian newspaper of some notoriety, The Daily Lemonsuck. For the first time in years I feel clean. No more doorstopping bereaved mums. No more raising doubts about man-made climate change. No more sticking the knife into Julia every chance. No more Major BS stories.

From now on, you are going to get my truly independent, no Major BS, views.

To my former editor, I have just one thing to say: Phhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt